Simple Ceremonies: Releasing Painful Ancestral Connections
Mark and I are thoroughly enjoying our time in Mexico, and this past week we immersed ourselves in the rich traditions of Día de los Muertos in Oaxaca. As the Day of the Dead winds down, we find ourselves reflecting on our ancestors with a mix of reverence and introspection.
While many people experience a deep sense of gratitude during this season, finding the act of remembrance to be beautiful and healing, it can also unearth memories of ancestors who left wounds rather than wisdom. This year, I felt drawn to reflect on one ancestor who caused me deep pain in my childhood.
Revisiting these memories was challenging, leaving me to wonder, Why bring this pain back to the surface?
For me, the answer was about seeking closure. When this person passed, I wasn’t ready to forgive or let go. Back then, forgiveness felt out of reach, like a distant bridge I simply couldn’t cross. Over time, however, I came to understand that true forgiveness is not about condoning or carrying the past with us. Instead, it is a gentle act of release—a way to free ourselves from the grip of painful memories and reclaim our own peace.
To support this journey, I created a cord-cutting ceremony. This simple yet profound act can help release the weight of an ancestor’s impact, offering freedom to both ourselves and those who came before us. This ceremony isn’t about erasing the past; it’s about finding freedom—for our hearts, our peace, and our healing.
A Cord-Cutting Ceremony for Healing and Release
Materials Needed:
- A candle in a color that resonates with healing for you
- A small bowl of water or access to a natural body of water
- A piece of string or ribbon
- A symbol of strength meaningful to you, such as a stone, flower, or charm
Instructions:
- Set Your Space: Find a quiet, peaceful place where you can be alone and uninterrupted. Light the candle, taking several deep breaths to center yourself and set your intention to release and heal.
- Hold the String or Ribbon: This represents the tie between you and the ancestor. Acknowledge the connection and any emotions you feel. Allow whatever arises to be felt fully, without judgment.
- Speak Your Truth: In your own words, speak directly to the memory or spirit of this ancestor. You might say something like, “I recognize the impact you had on my life. I honor the lessons I have learned, but I am ready to let go of the hurt and set myself free.”
- Release with Water and Fire: Dip your fingers in the water, symbolizing cleansing, and gently touch the string or ribbon. Then, with mindful attention, use the candle’s flame to burn or cut the string. As you do, imagine the cords between you dissolving, and feel the energy of release lifting away. Let any remaining ashes be released in the water, symbolizing a final surrender.
- Affirm Your Liberation: Hold your symbol of strength, take a deep breath, and affirm your freedom. Gently remind yourself, “I am free to live in peace. I release this tie for my own healing and joy.”
As you close the ceremony, give yourself time to sit quietly and reflect. Healing, after all, is a journey. By taking small but meaningful steps like this, you are reclaiming your own story, building a legacy of resilience, and opening yourself to the freedom that is rightfully yours.
In this season of remembrance, may we all find the courage to heal, the wisdom to release, and the strength to walk in our own light.
