Mother of a Refugee: Dino's Story

"Refugees didn't merely flee a place; they embarked on a journey to escape a thousand haunting memories, seeking solace in the embrace of time and distance before awakening to a brighter day." These poignant words by Nadia Hashimi echo in my heart as I reflect on my extraordinary journey with Dino, a young Gambellan refugee who, despite the vast physical and emotional distance between us, became an integral part of my life.

It all began on February 11th, 2018, with a simple message that popped up in my Facebook Messenger: "Hello Madam." At first, I didn't respond, unsure of how to react to this unexpected greeting from a stranger in a distant land. But fate had other plans.

Days passed, and I received the same message again: "Hello Madam." This time, I decided to respond with a simple "Hello."

For years now, Dino and I have engaged in daily conversations through Facebook Messenger and WhatsApp. Dino, a Gambellan refugee, had been separated from his homeland of Ethiopia since he was just seven years old. He had endured the hardships of life in a refugee camp in Nakivale, Uganda, with no family by his side.

Dino's journey to becoming a refugee was rooted in tragedy. On December 13, 2003, a brutal massacre claimed the lives of 424 Indigenous Anuak people in Gambella, Ethiopia, orchestrated by Ethiopian national forces and armed militia. The Anuak people had faced persecution in Western Ethiopia for a long time, resulting in the forced eviction of many from their ancestral lands. Dino's status as a refugee was born from the ashes of this devastating event.

My involvement with Dino and the Gambellan refugee camp began in December 2017, while I was volunteering for a nonprofit called The Christmas Tree Project. A dear friend (and lead Elf), David Fein, informed me about a special request from the camp – they wanted to hold a community meal to honor the memory of those lost in the December 13th massacre. They wanted to feed about 600 people.

I decided to take on this challenge, believing that raising funds was as simple as asking people for help. With the support of my spiritual community at Unity Spiritual Center in the Rockies, and the collaboration of volunteers from Colorado Springs Center for Spiritual Living, we set up a collection basket in the warehouse where we worked. Room by room, I shared our mission, and soon enough, the basket overflowed with checks and cash.

As we continued fundraising at our spiritual centers, we managed to create a Christmas miracle for the refugees. With the assistance of an organization called One Light Global, we ensured that the funds reached the camp. In return, we received heartwarming thank-you notes and pictures of the feast from the grateful people we had helped.

This initial interaction laid the foundation for a deeper connection with the Gambellan refugee camp. Both spiritual communities joined forces to support various needs, from providing soap and washing powder to funding the local school's supplies and building repair work after heavy rains.

One day, a request for soccer uniforms reached our ears. We believed in the power of play during challenging times, and what could be more challenging than being a refugee? We raised funds for soccer balls, shoes, and everything needed for the beautiful game. It was through soccer that I had my first interaction with Dino, an avid fan of the sport and a member of the team.

Dino took the initiative to reach out to me with a simple message: "Hello Madam." Two words, but they opened the door to a friendship that would change both our lives. Over the years, our conversations covered a wide range of topics – life in the refugee camp, school, soccer, his longing for his mother in Ethiopia, and his dreams for the future.

He shared his joys and sorrows,  and whenever the camp had a need, we worked together to raise funds. I sent the money, and Dino worked with the elders in the community to purchase what was necessary. They meticulously documented the spending with pictures and receipts, ensuring transparency.

As the years went by, my affection for Dino deepened, and our connection evolved from friends to something more significant. Then, on June 27th, 2020, our relationship reached a critical turning point. I told him that I wanted to help him find a way out of the refugee camp and into a more productive life.

"From now on, I'm going to be your American Auntie, okay?" I said.

"Yes, of course. I can even call you mom, not aunty! If you don't mind. That's what I really wanted," Dino replied.

The word "mom" carries deep meaning for me. I have raised four children. "Mom" signifies a lifetime commitment, a bond beyond measure. I paused for a moment because Dino's mother still lived in Ethiopia. It was essential to ensure she was comfortable with this arrangement.

"If your mom agrees, I will be your American mom. And you'll have two!" I assured him.

Dino agreed to talk to his mom, and after a heartfelt conversation with her, he sent me a message that warmed my heart: "I told her I got a big family full of kindness. I explained to her how you help me, how you treat me. I told her everything. She took a breath, she was like wooow! She surprised. She shed tears of joy!"

Those words held immeasurable emotion. I could only imagine the mix of gratitude and sorrow she might have felt. Dino had become a gift, a connection between two worlds, and one I was immensely grateful for.

Since then, I have proudly taken on the role of Dino's American mom. He still maintains regular contact with his mother in Ethiopia, and Mark, my darling husband, has become Dad. Dino has gained four brothers, a grandma, aunts, uncles, and cousins, all of whom he communicates with through social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram. It's a marvel of modern technology that allows us to bridge the physical distance.

At first, my own children were understandably unsure about this unconventional "adoption." The idea of someone they didn't know calling me "mom" took time to sink in. But as the months passed, and they got to know Dino, he became a beloved part of our family.

My heart told me that Dino was someone I was meant to love and support. I felt it from the very first conversation, an instant recognition that I could make a difference in his life. Moreover, Dino was easy to love. He possessed a big heart, a passion for helping others, and a kind and caring nature.

I've always believed that if each of us helped just one person in need, the world could be healed. Dino became my "one," the focus of my efforts to make a positive impact. While there may be others in the future, for now, one at a time is the approach that feels most meaningful and allows us to nurture a genuine and trusting relationship.

Our conversations in June 2020 also ventured into discussions about Dino's future beyond the refugee camp. Naturally, the topic of him coming to Colorado arose. I proceeded cautiously, understanding the layers of tragedy and loss he had experienced. I wanted to ensure that every step forward was taken with care and consideration.

"We have friends in South Africa who have a big mission that feeds thousands of kids living in poverty each day. Would you be interested in going there and helping them? I think you'd learn a lot!" I suggested.

"Yes, mom," he replied, in his characteristic few words that conveyed his willingness to listen and learn.

I reached out to my friend Andrew, in South Africa. Andrew wholeheartedly supported the idea, offering to teach Dino to drive, provide him with education, and involve him in their mission to help underprivileged children. He did, however, caution that the process might take a year or more.

"A year or more?" I thought to myself, determined to expedite the process. Little did I know that Andrew's estimate would prove to be accurate.

The journey to bring Dino to South Africa proved to be a Herculean task, exacerbated by the challenges of the global COVID-19 pandemic. Dino needed a passport, which he eventually obtained in South Sudan. Subsequently, all his refugee papers in Uganda had to be updated due to his change in citizenship. This required a trip to Kampala, the same city where the South African Embassy was located.

Navigating the bureaucracy of government approvals and hand-stamped documents, while juggling expired timelines and new requirements, became a time-consuming ordeal. Yet, with unwavering perseverance, we forged ahead, even as setbacks tested our resolve.

Amidst the complex process, unforeseen challenges arose at home in Colorado. Mark and I fell ill with COVID-19 and faced a lengthy recovery period. Additionally, I underwent lung surgery, adding to our already strained circumstances. Throughout this trying period, Dino stood by patiently, assuming the role of a loving son, offering words of encouragement and checking on my well-being.

Finally, on Christmas Eve in 2021, after eighteen months of relentless effort, Dino shared the news I had been anxiously awaiting: "Hi, Mom. Good morning. I heard great news! I have received a message from VFS Global that my visa is ready for collection! Am back at the hotel with it. I'm so excited, Mom!"

It was another Christmas miracle, the culmination of our collective determination and unwavering faith. The earliest Dino could fly to South Africa was set for Tuesday, December 28th. I immediately began preparations to ensure a smooth journey for him, despite his lack of experience with commercial flights.

To my surprise, Dino handled the entire process with ease, arriving at the airport promptly and navigating the check-in and security procedures effortlessly. With just two suitcases containing all his worldly possessions, he safely landed in South Africa, embraced by the welcoming arms of Andrew's leadership team, around 8 pm that evening.

In South Africa, Dino joined the EDCC (Every Day Children's Church) project, part of Andrew's organization, Overcomers. This dedicated team of passionate individuals collaborates with various NGOs, PBOs, NPCs, Churches, and community leaders across South Africa to provide meals for thousands of children living in extreme poverty. Dino became part of a team of approximately 80 young individuals, all engaged in this powerful humanitarian effort. He rang in the new year of 2022 as a member of this transformative team, an experience that I believe could benefit children worldwide if given the opportunity.

I told my family I felt like Wonder Woman, ready to take on the world. "We all know you're Wonder Woman, Ma" my youngest son said. It touched my heart and reinforced the significance of our mission. I wanted my children, who were really young adults at this point, to understand that we can all make a difference in someone's life.

However, our story takes an unexpected turn as we fast forward to March 2023. After three productive and educational months in South Africa, Dino's visa expired, and he was compelled to return to Uganda. There, he applied for a volunteer visa, which would allow him to return to South Africa and work with Overcomers for a year. Yet, despite waiting for eight long months, he received a letter of denial without any explanation. It's a painful reminder that refugee applications are often met with uncertainty and rejection.

Today, Dino lives in a modest apartment, with Mark and me providing financial support for his rent, food, and essentials. It's a simple life, but Dino is grateful for our assistance. We've enrolled Dino in college, where he'll study Information Technology (IT). Our hope is that, as he progresses in his education, we can help him secure a scholarship to study abroad in the United States.

The cruel reality of immigration laws keeps us apart, preventing us from welcoming Dino fully into our family. Yet, our determination to find a place where he can thrive, work, love, and build his life remains undeterred. We are determined to support him in becoming a productive and happy member of society.

Our journey continues, with an uncertain path ahead. But I remain steadfast in my commitment to help Dino find his place in the world, a place where he can contribute to society and experience the joys of life to the fullest. We will keep working tirelessly until we find a way.

If anyone reading this narrative can offer expertise or assistance in navigating the complex immigration process, please reach out to me at [email protected]. Your help could be a beacon of hope for Dino and countless others in similar situations.

Thank you for reading, and please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. We believe that the path forward will reveal itself, and with your support, we can continue to make a difference, one step at a time.